This has been mulling around in my head for some time now. Since the computer system at work is down, no time like the present to write.
Single versus married – the debate rages on. Is the grass always truly green on the other side of the fence? Well, let’s see.
I’ll start with the topic I know best – me! I’m single. That means no demands for cooking dinner, ironing shirts, making plans to suit my mate, etc. It’s definitely an “I” existence. I choose, I do, I go, etc….. Some of my married friends say, “Gee, you’re lucky you’re single.” “You can do anything you want.” And get this one: “YOU HAVE NO RESPONSIBILITIES.”
STOP RIGHT THERE!!!!
What about rent, utilities, medical bills, vet bills, groceries, transportation, taking care of my apartment (I’m NOT Susie Homemaker), etc…. What happens if I get sick? Who walks the dog if I can’t? There’s no such thing as “I can’t.”
Not all of my married friends have life so easy. Most of my married friends have the same issues with money as I – never enough. No investments, etc. We have the same bills and money woes every month and live paycheck to paycheck. Yet somehow, these are the married friends who never say, “You’re so lucky to be single.”
For some reason, I ended up single. It was not a deliberate choice. It just turned out that way. For years I thought of myself as “the one not chosen.” Then it occurred to me, why should I have to be chosen? Why don’t I choose? Yes, it would be lovely to have a spouse who held a good job so that I wouldn’t have to worry about not being able to work. It would be wonderful to have someone who would look after me a little bit. But is that what I really want or even need? I like my independence and intend to live it as long as I’m able. Aside from the companionship of a true soul-mate, nothing is missing in my life, and if my soul-mate is searching for me, we will find each other.
There’s no answer to this debate – each side has merits and de-merits. No one way is better than the other – just different.
So, to my married and single friends, the grass is the same color on both sides of the fence. We just have to tend the our own gardens.
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Why is it that women especially feel they HAVE to marry?
Or worse yet, if they are married, they snub the ones who aren't with their little female, "Oh to be married is such a trial" zingers.
OR worse yet, when they are married, happily or not, they feel every woman they meet needs to be married too or they will never find the same happiness in life.
Bullshit!
I see too many times women who married because it was what you are supposed to do in abuse shelters.
They married some guy names Earl who's only ambition in life is watching NASCAR or WWF and the little woman better make damn sure his pork rinds and Coors keep a comin'.
Women must accept themselves and seek to make themselves happy first.
How can you expect to make someone else happy if you are unhappy?
Being single is just as tough as being married.
How many women out there are technically married only?
This means they are living with another person but not sharing each others lives.
I did it in my first marriage. I was just marking time till I got out, but at first, you do not even realize you are two separate people just sleeping in the same house, not necessarily in the same bed.
The garden of life will always have weeds in it no matte what side of the septic tank you live on. It is the responsibility of the individual to pull out the weeds to let more flowers grow.
Lady Saphyre
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