JOHNNY CAN NEITHER READ NOR WRITE!

Johnny is the one hired to write instruction manuals for electronics or assembly instructions from everything to bookshelves to vacuum cleaners. We don’t know where Johnny went to school because his/her knowledge of English is suspect. Johnny can’t write an intelligible sentence, but I’ll bet he can use his scientific calculator to do equations (e.g., 2 + 2 =).

Why am I angry with Johnny? I just bought a DVD player. The hook-up was self-explanatory – just match the colors on the cables with the same colors on the TV. Plug into the electrical outlet. Put batteries into the remote. Turn on TV and DVD player. Insert disk. Press play. OOPS….. Uh….. Lights are on, but no movie. Read manual. After pages and pages of pure nonsense and convoluted verbiage, I was no closer to finding the answer. I called the customer service people, who were stuck reading from a script that asked at least 20 DUMB questions. Two people put their brains together and told me to go through each channel until I saw the DVD logo appear on my TV screen. One clearly written sentence was all the manual needed, and Johnny could not write it.

Back in the Dark Ages when I was in elementary school, READING was given the strongest emphasis. If one could read, then one could master virtually any other subject taught. This was followed by extensive vocabulary and spelling drills. Of course we learned math and science. But before we could attempt those subjects, we needed some reading comprehension. We were taught to write complete sentences that ended with punctuation – not the run-on sentences that even young doctors of today use. What’s a semi-colon? What’s a comma? What’s a compound sentence? And since when did the pleural of him become “they?”

Over the past years, government has decided it knows best what Johnny needs to learn. Math and science are much more important than reading, especially because reading means delving into the great works of literature (Shakespeare, for one) and maybe reading something politically incorrect or offensive to the conservative right. The government has decided that Johnny really does not need to study music to develop even an appreciation for the great masters such as Bach and Beethoven – dead white European men who have no relevance for today. Please don’t give Johnny a set of pastels and ask him to draw. No, the government will continue to push math and science and politically correct “multicultural studies” to the detriment of Johnny’s soul and his innate need to create and express.

No matter what else, please don’t allow Johnny to become creative and to write! After all, Johnny may one day write an instruction manual that we all can read!

The Quiet Legend

This weekend, I had a twice-in-a-lifetime experience – my second time attending a concert given by the Grand Dame of Broadway – Barbara Cook. Now considered the Dowager Empress of the Stage, Ms. Cook is a modest 75 years old. Her once lyric coloratura soprano has lowered and deepened and is now replaced by a silky, warm sound. (By the way, her high notes are still damned good!) Her slim, glamorous figure has blossomed into the full figure of womanhood. No flash and dash and gimmicks – just the quiet artistry and graceful presence that captured a concert hall of 2500 people so that there was not a breath heard when she sang. Her voice simply found the natural flow of air around her and went for a ride. Yes, she was definitely bewitching! Oh, yes – she did indeed perform, especially when singing jazz. But her shining moment was the ballad she sang as an encore – without the microphone. Her beautiful voice and her soul reached all the way back and up to the top-most tier. This was a lesson in performance.

Ms. Cook shared the stage with the young and quite gorgeous Audra MacDonald, whose credits not only include Broadway, but appearances on TV’s West Wing. Ms. MacDonald is blessed with youth, beauty, and a HUGE voice and lots of personality. She graciously shared with the audience that being on stage was akin to getting a lesson in what it’s all about. Her style is the exact opposite of Ms. Cook, yet when they sang duets, their blend was one voice. Extraordinary experience.

It simply boiled down to one person willing to share her vast knowledge and experience and the other person checking any ego at the door (I don’t think Audra has an ego) and allowing herself to be guided by the muse.

There are simply no words to describe this experience. On one side, THE Barbara Cook, full-figured, 75 years old, and looking and sounding stunning. On the other side, THE Audra MacDonald, trim, 30-something, and sounding stunning. There was no competition – just two artists who were there to entertain and share themselves with 2500 close friends. They turned a huge concert hall into an intimate salon.

Experiences such as this do not come along very often, and I am grateful that I was able to be a part of it.

So, this is my blog on Ostara, the time to celebrate balance, the time when day and night are equal, when what we have learned and nurtured this winter now starts to blossom. Barbara and Audra – two opposites in perfect balance.